Today, I stumbled upon a metaphor that I wrote about in one of my study journals and decided to share it.
July 2014
"When I was sick and I came home from my mission, the doctors still had no idea what was going on. At one point, my mom thought, "Maybe it's Celiac disease, do you want to try going without gluten?" and I said, "No! I don't want to go without gluten unnecessarily." Then, they did the blood test which tested positive for Celiac, but I hadn't seen a doctor, so no one technically told me I should top eating gluten. I had told some people that was my diagnosis, but it was still so unreal to me that I didn't treat it seriously. I even keep deliberating eating gluten products thinking, "I'm going to eat it while I still can!"
And then one day after I was hurting particularly badly, it hit me. What is wrong with you?! Aren't you sick of being sick?? It's been almost 2 months! Shouldn't you be doing EVERYTHING within your power to get better?? And I realized how stupid I was for "procrastinating the day of my repentance" and knowingly harming myself because I didn't want to give up eating gluten yet. And it struck me today, how many times do we allow sins (the degree varying from bread to soy sauce) or sinful behavior to poison our lives and keep us from progressing and getting better? How many times do we think, "Well no one has told me to change yet so I can continue this harmful behavior"? Is it worth it? No. Do we want to be healed? Are we willing to forsake all sin and allow it to happen? It will be hard at first, breaking habits, being absolutely vigilant, but if we slip and allow sin, as sure as poison it will bring pain and impede our progress to happiness. I could decide to give up on the lifestyle one day(in my case, being gluten-free), but that has no affect on its effect on me. I can't control that. It's just nature! Whether I was aware of it or not, gluten was harming my body. Mormons or not, sin is sin and you cannot avoid its effects on our lives."
I would like to add that it took me two weeks (maybe even a month) for the gluten-free diet to take effect and for me to notice. A few weeks later, I accidentally ate gluten and the difference was never more clear in my life. It knocked me OUT. In fact, I would say that I felt worse those days then I ever did when I was sick, but eating gluten on a regular basis. Weird, right? Sometimes we don't realize how harmful a habit or a sin is until it's been completely been removed from our lives for an extended period of time and then when we're introduced to it again, we are able to see more clearly how harmful it really is. It was only when I realized how incredibly sick it made me that my desire to eat those gluten-filled foods completely vanished. My desires changed and something that was difficult for me became so easy and now, second nature. I know that that is what happens when turn to the Savior and allow Him to heal us by giving up the things holding us back. He changes us and makes what was once impossible, second nature.
